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Necromantic

This is a parody of "Intergalactic," by the Beastie Boys, invented very, very late one night during an AD&D game, with the help of lots of processed sugars...

Click here for the lyrics to the original song. 		Undead-collecting Necromancer,
Necromancing undead collector
(He's draining your levels x4)

Don't you tell me to yield
You stick around I'll see your fate is sealed
Got zombies and ghouls at hand, concealed
I got ghosts and wraiths in your battlefield
Spreading dread, I said
My skeletal commandos will break your head
Don't you clerics dare to turn my undead,
I'll slay you all when my evil words have been said
If you battle me I'll make you dead
People stepped to me but they all fled
You've got swords, you're well-read,
But fight with me, and you'll soon know dread,
I got barrows through which you'd best not tread;
If you don't surrender I'll take your head
See me here in my throne of red,
Wallowing in this bloodshed

Undead-collecting Necromancer,
Necromancing undead collector

Ghouls and spectres, I've got more,
Step into my dungeon, I've opened my door,
When it comes to magics, I'm top-drawer
I like my minions oppressed and poor,
Juju zombies quicker than the zombies of yore,
Too quick to be quelled, too def to deplore,
To my noble side you would implore,
To leave your town alone, to invade no more,
There is no plea that I would fall for
Gonna reap the spoils of war
Keep invading cause I'm hard-core,
Got a boon from my god for boils and sores
When it comes to genius, y'all is poor
Fall before my spells and my undead corps
Another dominion to battle for
Undead-collecting necromanc-or

Undead-collecting Necromancer,
Necromancing undead collector

From the Negative Material Plane
Summoning shades with my arts arcane
The wraiths and spectres spreading bane
Draining levels and hit points that you won't regain
I enjoy inflicting pain
Also known to disgrace the slain
Raising dead I've been called inhumane
Necromancers are somewhat in-
(heh)
sane
In your Holy Land I was raising Cain
My undead legions feel no pain
Step from the altar with a nice blood stain
I could raise the corpse of Charlemagne
If you try to conquer my domain
I will feast upon your brain
You'll weep to your gods, but it's all in vain
There is no one can stop my dread Campaign

Undead-collecting Necromancer,
Necromancing undead collector
I'm draining your levels, see ya

Devon Apple, April 3, 2000

Unless otherwise credited, all parodies © Devon Apple 2015
Original songs and lyrics used without permission for purposes of reference.
Like they care.
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